Truly. He looks down on you and thinks, what the fuck did i do to make you?? You should eat well, exercise and get plenty of sleep. My heart goes out to you who are hurting and you will get through this just as I know I will. 2) I had to act strong in front of my mom because she was devastated and panicking as a stay-at-home mom, so I couldnt fall apart. I am 26, son, and I lost my father in April, he was only 55 and passed away from the Corina-Virus. Get breaking news alerts& today's headlines inyour inbox. I am currently experiencing this now. My dad was such a strong and honorable man, he was a man of God and touched so many peoples lives young and old in our community. I believe this is just the kind of article to send onto friends who love you, who loved your dad too and who may also struggle to know the right thing to say, and Im English. I hope that Im not the only one that feels like this because that would me I was crazy right. Not to say it is not incredibly painful, it is. Thank you so much for sharing this, I am just so devastated. The last four months Ive been drowning , drowning in sadness . Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted, he saves those who are crushed in spirit. As you are aware, the sadness will diminish soon from your recent trip. I had been in and out quickly at my parents house but 1 day I needed to clean out the fridge. She is gone now , four weeks . At 49 I lost my dad July 2019 he was 86. Thanks for sharing this its helpful but it still doesnt matter. My life hasnt turned out the way I planned, and he was ultimately my safety blanket. He just turned 45 in October and I just turned 30 in October. You shouldnt assume that you know exactly how your father or mother feels. Of course I had to be happy for her, shes my best friendso of course I was taking advantage of the unlimited drinks at the bar, too. Ha! Today I also went thru the scenario of what if they were able to revive him, how much more pain and suffer he would have to go thru then. Kisses hon, stay strong, enjoy the rest of your Life!! In 2 days my living room already started to become a pigsty (I'm not home much these days due to various commitments) and I immediately told her she wasn't allowed to do that after I cleaned up after her. As awful as it sounds life would be better if she did, we suddenly lost my dad due to a aneurysm. Thank you for sharing your story. Your knowledgeable companion for everything after life Eventually you will learn to manage them better. It stayed like a zoo for about 2 months, everyone keeps saying oh Becca is so tough. Hopefully life will teach me well. I dont know what I feel most of the time. How could they? I just want to be with my dad the best dad My Mum was always hard on usRoy always stuck up for us, let me stay home from school, if I had the sneezes where as My Mum would make us go before that. I guess Dad Im trying to say that I really truly love you and miss you so much!! When he did get clean, he wasnt the man I knew. I think the hardest times for me have been when Ive really needed to talk to my dad for advice. I was darn good to my Mom, but lost my patience many times as she knew how to push my buttons and did it often for reasons, I only understand now. After writing my letter to dad this morning For example, Im getting married in eight months, and Ive found some wonderfully touching and creative ways to make my father a part of the wedding, and these little things will no doubt help me get through the day and remember him with pride. Know you are not alone, Hey i lost my dad 3 years ago and Im still lost an like you said grief is hard very hard. Would you like to have more someday? My dad died very suddenly September 19, 2018. X. My mother died two years ago, but my father refuses to clean out her closet or make any changes in the house. The hardest will be the big life eventsIm worried for my mom and my other siblings. It is definitely the most challenging thing I have ever had to go through. My daughter had the garage door opened ready for the EMTs to get here. For more information about child custody after death, refer to the child custody guidelines of your state or speak with a qualified attorney in your state. About every 6 months we would be evicted from our apartment due to non-payment or because the house was a disaster, and we would scramble to find a place to live. My birthday, the anniversary of my mom's death, my mom's birthday, and Mother's Day all occur within the span of a couple months. First thing she did was wake my step dad up and then she ran back for the old man they were taking care of. Please I hope that you dont feel sad for too long and find some enjoyment in life.please take care and look after yourselves. So why not that theres something else next? It was so painful to wake up without his bday message. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I then try to shake it off and move on. I am 49 he was 74. Im 19, and we knew it was coming, but I still cant believe it happened. It is a natural order of the world but having him ripped from us is just unfair. Some counseling might be in order. It will be 2 years this Friday since I lost my Dad. Im just so sad right now. Youve learned to expand and feel more than you thought possible before. I want to leave every thing in here reminds me what ive been thorough. Reading this after a hard couple of days that I cant even talk to my dad about. Such a relatable message. When I watch a film and someones dad dies, or when a song comes on the radio that reminds me of him, or most recently, when I was at a wedding and the bride unexpectedly called for a father daughter dance. I cant put up pictures in my home of my Dad, the pain is still too difficult to bear. I couldnt do anything for my dad who a lot for me and was always ready to do anything and everything. This is the 4th time I cry over his death which worries me. I just want him here and feel sad almost daily about his passing. My sister didnt know him like I did. I think other people have been wondering this too, but have been afraid to bring up the subject have you thought about when youll start dating again?. The loss of health. Where can I go ? That reminder is difficult to handle. Talk to your mum or someone. I know if my dad was around he wouldnt hold it against me. The sadness and loss that I feel is endless. He coped well with it but at the end he went from OK to dying in 24 hours. The world has moved on, but I have not. Lost dad November 2nd out of nowhere. )as I reached my dad whod been shot all 6 times in the back he was still alive,but fading away fastly. I am a Nurse and havent been able to go back to work yet as I am so consumed with grief and I miss her beyond words. He will be missed so much by so many people. You are definitely right when you say its nice to know that your not alone. Sorry about your loss. The hurt and denial of the past sprung back to the present rather quickly as if it was happening to me all over again. Basically said well did he die?! The Mourning Period:The length of the mourning period will be influenced by your mothers personality, her feelings about your father, and even the cause of death. The holidays are especially hard. I still beat myself up about why I didnt see the signs with both there deaths. Im really lost! And most recently was my husbands cousin that was raised more like a sister with him, died in her sleep at 27 yrs old. Now my daughter wont ever know him and he will never walk me down the isle. Losing my great grandfather in April, that is a whole story in itself. Most are unable to sit with you in the pain. I see that for every of my life events he is there but going forward for any if my life events he will not be there. Im 16 and lost my dad last year and Ive went through the same, no one knows that I cry neither every night about it. To all of you reading this, just know you are not a lone. He only survived 6 months after the diagnosis so much has happened. It was a strange thing to joke about when we were in our 20s and had our entire lives ahead of us, but thats how far from reality death was. Im still stuck and lost. I just lost my dad on February 8 2020 this year when I first found out I couldnt believe it its as if I couldnt breathe and my heart felt funny and people had to calm me down. They brought me home from the hospital in 1973 to that home. II list my father February 2 2020 and it has turns my workshop upsdide diem completely. Im 28 and lost my dad 4months ago. Matter of fact I took him for granted and couldnt stand him sometimes but I definitely appreciated the things he did. And then suddenly a surge of powerful emotion hits you like a tidal wave. My dad was there for me more than anybody and we were so close. We aim to keep this a safe space. Once I eventually move home to Canada in 2 years and have the right support system around me on a daily basis, I can finally move forward with my grief. I just couldnt accept the fact that he left me. What can I do to make things better, I just want to make this all better. When they called me to tell me about my fathers passing, my life was instantly shattered into pieces and to this day, I am still picking up the pieces. Im only hear because of my 2 daughters and grandkids i was so close to mum dad just want to be with them! The first person to wipe her tears away when she is afraid or hurt. One of the best gifts you can give your mother is patience and understanding, long past the time when the outside world has stopped sending cards or asking her how shes doing. I only can go to sleep and hope that I dream about them. BUT, no one, including our parents prepare us for their loss. Suddenly I got a strange direct message on instagram from people that I dont know before, and it was mum partners wife. Iv felt so alone with out him. The funeral is so final which is next week and I am dreading It for I am arranging it with my daughter and son. Aimee. Be understanding if she doesnt want to do anything or wants you to stay home with her. He was my true hero I think about him every single day. Hi Marie J. Im sorry for your loss and I hope youre feeling somewhat better by now. For example, let your mother know you remember her wedding anniversary and ask if you can do something special for her, such as taking her out for dinner. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. The book is about her career as a child actress and her difficult relationship with her abusive mother who died in 2013. But I keep my dads sudden passing in denial. Its kind of depressing i think. I had been envisioning the day I got to come home and finally tell my Dad I had done it, but my final shift as a student was just as sad as all the other days since his passing, if not sadder. I was out of state when I was informed that he was in the hospital. I put a forklift through the top of a trailer, played a prank on another employee which blew up in my face no need to elaborate., but overall, I feel he was proud of me. I know its going to get better or be ok someday but just not now, Thank you so much for sharing your story. I lost my dad about a month ago and this article really helped. was I wrong when she finally decided to go to the hospital it was too late she only weighed 54pds and her body was shutting down,it all seemed like a dream to me and I thought once she comes home everything will be okay,boy was I wrong hospice brought her back to her home because she wanted to come back home. I dont think it ever gets better, you just learn to live with it. I lost my dad 1 month ago and 24 hours later my grandmother passed away too. I belive in burial and going back into earth (Decompose) and i belive we have our spirit. He shot her in the face twice in the middle of the street while I was in her arms. It is like he is all I have left and if that keeps him with me then I that is what I want so much. Im 56 now and he would have been 96 now. However, concerned individuals wishing to be considered should step forward immediately and let the court know of your interest, your existing relationship with the child,and any relevant experience or qualifications following the death of a parent. I hope tomorrow is one of many good days for you. It hurts so much I am a christian and I think I still believe in Jesus, it is just impossible for me to understand why He had to take him now . I spent a few days swiping through strangers before finally deciding I would meet one of them for coffee. I keep returning because you speak to meand for mesince Im not fully processing this ugly new reality forced upon me. I really hope the pain and all this immense sadness eases. Staying healthy will help your body handle the stress these emotions can cause. Thanks to you for putting these points out there, this is exactly what I feel on most days. Looking back the call feels like a blur. Lost my mama due to brain cancer. He had stage 4 cancer I took a compassionate leave from work and university so I can be a full time caregiver and watch over him. I honestly thought i was on top of my grief but tonight as it draws closer to the time of his death I cant help but feel so angry so short fused, snappy and full of sorrow all over again. Your folks would want you to keep going. I just happenstanced on this website. he had died in a motercycle crash and I cant stop crying, So so sorry for your loss, be strong but have a good cry, remember the good times, I lost my dad about a month ago all the best, Poor darlin .. You know I am 48 and lost my dad a week ago and I cant stop crying either , I am 56 years old and lost my dad 2 days ago. Yes, I am happy for the wonderful times and amount of life shared. I know it will get better but will never be ok. My father is quite a bit older than many other dads of friends and I know that. The person who teaches her what a woman should be. I will strive to put that inspiration to work the rest of my days, no matter what happens tomorrow. Being a parent, I believe they want the best for us and will always be with us in our heart. I told him that he was surrounded by love and that we all love him. After that, I feel like Id want to move on with my life, like Id be missing out otherwise.. Should I encourage him to start getting rid of some of her things?Spending time in your mothers room may have become a comforting ritual for your dad. I still deny that hes gone! Apathy, the bus driver, doesnt think we can get out. Sometimes it feels like I will never be happy again. It made it so real & his death so final. Lovely to hear. I find I am now getting on with what is important. We can only talk thru facetime because the hospital will not allow visitors due to covid. It feels like hes slipping out my fingers, and as the years pass, the memories fade a little more. He never met them, in fact he passed away suddenly while I was in the hospital with my first newborn baby. The hospital, who was known in the Cincinnati area to be awful, released him and stated he had low potassium. Hi I recently lost my dad in November 2018..and to top it off I lost my mom one week later so losing two parents in one week..I dont know who to grieve for I seem to grieve for my dad more than my mom does that make me selfish I did love my dad with all my heart and I miss him so much..I love my mom and miss her with all my heart but my dad was my life he understood me more plus I was a daddy girl sorry for ranting but I miss them so much sometimes I think life is pointless without them am I wrong.. Hi Mary I am so sorry to hear about your parents. My father was everything to me, my friend, mentor, guide imagine a world with no sky, that sums up my emotions. I love you dad xx, its my 17th birthday today, also been exactly 4 months since my dad passed. I lost my Dad, 10 years ago. Within one week he could not get up. I lost my mom to cancer 3 years ago, and I am the second eldest kid in the family,(my brother is 15, I am 13,my sister is 12, and my littlest sister is 5. I know I need to keep going, I need to leave a positive impact on this planet somehow, but I dont seem to have strength right now. Azmeh Dawood, the older sister of Pakistani businessman Shahzada Dawood, said her nephew was reluctant to go on the . I just want my dadx, I lost my Dad the same week Feel so lost. every night I wish I can see him on my dream and have a chance to tell him that I love him and im sorry that I wasnt the daughter that he deserves to have. My father passed away a month ago I wasnt sure if I was the only one going through this like you I wasnt with my father the night he passed in fact my family didnt even tell me about until two days after and I have been holding in a-lot of regret and pain and guilt I still am Im never going to let that go but your post helped me. There will be many people you will meet also. He had a lot of trauma from both physical and emotional sources and now looking back on it all I wish I could tell him i forgive him. my dad died today this afternoon around 2pm. I am a problem fixer and I should be able to fix myself right? They were good parents and raised us kids right. I lost my father 37 years ago, due to a horribly horrific accident. I hope one day I can share my story just like you. Usually its a passing comment. So how can I be there for them and still grieve our loss?!?!? I lived my entire life honoring him and my mother, but I realize no matter what you did it seems youll always regret something. My dad was the only one that really understands me and gave me the best advice but I was totally blind to see how much I need him I am 38 years old and both my parents died. He should be here to watch my young kids grow up. His dad is alive, and hes not even close to him. I feel like most of ny life plans were based around my family and I feel so lost. Sometimes i keep wondering about milestones without him here with me. It can often be a source of comfort to hear from someone who has experienced the emotional rollercoaster of losing a loved one and has come out on the other side. He was the one person who would steer me right when I was in the wrong and always be the one I talked to when I needed advice. My comfortable, safe place. For example: Remember when we went on our family vacation and Dad fell into the swimming pool? Or get out a box of family photos and go through them yourself. Gear help for me who lost my day 2 days ago to Covid-19!! I lost my dad today and i cant stop crying there are moments when i focus on something else and after that it hits me again more powerfull. Those two had been his biggest dream as now Im turning 30 and they were the last things he would ever ask from me. I wish I had known these five things before she died: 1. I lost my dad very suddenly only 3 months ago.. It has been almost a year since I lost my dad. The loss of your dance partner. I still grieve for him nearly everyday. But if you feel your father may be thinking about killing himself, you should act immediately, especially if hes had periods of depression. I just want to talk to him again. I feel selfish, needy, sad, depressed and so lonely. He will be gone 10 years in October. I want nothing to do with her and sometimes as awful as it is, I feel like losing her would have been easier. My mother has had pretty much one job since I was 9 months old (I'm currently 37), and that has been at our local movie theater. I believe that is most of why I struggle is because I dont understand why he left me all alone and didnt think of me when he did that. Back to work 3 weeks after. Actually this article is so related that indeed you see that you are not alone . I dont know what to do with myself. I was 12 when my dad committed suicide and Im now 29 just remember when youre sad and down that although it is okay to miss him and grieve you live FOR him. Finally, remember that in addition to your grief, you may also be facing feelings about your own aging and death. You might help him plan a schedule, or offer to work with him. I Miss the Feeling of a Newborn Baby On My Chest, Look for the Ones Who Are Hurting This Holiday, I Am Two Moms: One To My Children and One To My Aging Mother. I just wish to hear her voice or see her smile or to cuddle on the couch wit her as we always did. Im 13 and lost my dad 2 weeks ago its so hard not having him here and Im the oldest child so Im trying to stay strong for my sister and my mom. For my whole life my mom has shit on me for my decisions & the way I live my life. I sometimes wish I could just see him one more time and instead of being afraid I wish I could ask him why? my mind is in a dark place and honestly dont know what to do. It was 1:30 am, july 9th i got the call from my grandfather. I lost my dad to cancer two months ago I feel so lost right now its like u said most of your friends dont get what u feel except the one thats lost a parent to loseing a parent different some that u loved and cared about losing a parent puts u in another world almost and until it happens to u . So sorry McKenzie sending prayers to you and your family . I lost my Dad four months ago, my emotions have been ups and downs, sometimes I am doing fine, sometimes Im just diving into my grieving cave and it can be in a crowd in a restaurant. I wish you could come and live with me. It hurts like hell even now 4 years after a devastating loss, my anchor is not there and I wonder what I am living for ? Stress had taken its toll, and most of my clothes now hung off me. She nodded, didnt probe further. remember its okay to cry. so sorry about your loss. When I found that out, it all became real, my fathers injuries were severe, too severe for any chance of recovering. I didnt realize it was too late. I recognized the studder, and the way he murmured to break to me My mothers Dead. It has been a gruelling journey of denial and sadness. He woke up, they removed the tubes. He was 67. For being the major bedrock in our family for raising me and my siblings for 40 years other than being a great husband for my mum. Anything can set me off, an Elvis Presley song, a memory or even someone that looks like him. I know some people say give it time. Reading all that you have written has made me realize, that all of what I am going through, is a natural process and its ok to feel like I do. Helen, I can totally relate. She already knew the sounds of life were gone. day that has passed is everyday that i grief I only cry when im alone i shut down my world i shut other people from my life its like im falling apart. I was always a HUGE daddys girl, the apple of his eye. I am 29 and will give birth in 2 months to the first grandchild in the family. You know, normal stuff. I need to be the father he was to me to them. Privacy Policy. Missing your mom is something you will feel every moment of every day, even when youre happy. He was diagnosed a week before I graduated from college. My baby brother is the reason why Im still here. Thank you. He was in indian guides with me. I lost my daughter four years ago she was six years old, she died from a fire outbreak in the kitchen. I do often feel suicidal, I can't think of her without seeing her in the bed or the care home. I feel like if it does ill stop caring. We thought Covid had caused a neumonia which in turn was causing his tiredness, low blood oxigenation, and weakness. I cant bear this pain. My father died 2 months ago from Dec 10th, 2019. The house always smelled of, honestly I don't even know what, but it's something that whenever I get a whiff of it today gives me some sort of PTSD.