Article by Nancy Wilson Guest Contributor You might be surprised to know that your pastor's wife is much like you. Im Pastor C and this is my wife, Denise. More often than not, she is characterized as the pastors wife or perhaps in the minds of those who have known us here for almost 21 years, our pastors wife.. Though she may never know the details of your life or ministry, her role is to remind you thatjoyis available for you! A pastors wife must be submissive to him, A mans house includes his wife and children. When we face a dilemma about some action we need to take, God will talk to us through the Scriptures and direct us. Hosted by Dr. Danny Huerta, in every 8 to 15 minute episode, youll hear parenting experts share Biblical truths, effective parenting techniques, and useful resources that will help you feel equipped as a mom or dad in todays culture. Are you an advocate for the unborn? All need encouragement for their important role. I still remember when a homeless man who attended our church took us up on the offer for anyone who needed a place to share Thanksgiving dinner. Winning Your Inner Battles is a free series of eight short videos featuring Levi Lusko. Where is my niche?" Often they are underpaid, under-appreciated, and misunderstood. The pastor gets a lot of attention and recognition. She helps you stay disciplined on your diet. Unlike most other jobs and professions, a pastors ministry. People often have higher expectations of the pastors wife than they should. What a beautiful mindset amidst the struggles and cares of ministry! When my husband began his ministry, we were in an English-speaking church in another country. These people have exciting stories about God at work in foreign lands. We can capitalize on our visibility because of our position in the church, inviting and encouraging others with gifts for evangelizing and teaching to use those gifts. She cant share her problems with other women because she wants to be very careful to protect her husbands reputation. Positive statements along with positive non-verbal communication can guide others along a positive path. Given that some of the qualifications of a pastor are also qualifications for a pastors wife, it follows that she will have to bear some of the heavy burdens he does (see examples below). Pastors wives need specific support and encouragement to be excellent wives to their pastor-husbands. All Rights Reserved. EVERYTHING about what is going on in the church, such as the events, planning, or what a church member may be going through as if she is the pastor. She must be a woman who is steadfast in her convictions. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading Who Can Find A Pastor's Wife. Pastors'wives in all cultures often ask themselves,Who am I? 84% feel unqualified and discouraged in their roles. You see, I have had the privilege of being a lead pastor for 39 years, and my sweet wife has been by my side through it all . This is part three in a series on pastors wives. I am reminded that there are different ways to paint a house. Join Parker Buckman as he navigates mystery, adventure, and suspense in the. What is God telling her to do? Being a Pastors' Wife - Just Between Us Dont gossip or share anything negative about a church A pastor could not divorce his wife, except if she commits adultery, and marry another because he would be the husband of two wives, being bound in covenant to two women. Very few people. (Ephesians 5:22-24). But a woman who is married to a pastor will inevitably face expectations about her role in the congregation that have Read Now. They can also refer you to counselors in your area for ongoing assistance. They also may avoid getting close to her because they think she might scrutinize their lives. It is easier to do Okay, maybe not, but it wasnt a stretch to believe, right? The Fruit of the Spirit Devotionalis afreeseries of nine short videos to get you into Gods Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirits help in loving your spouse. Many pastors do not have close friends with whom they can vent or share their problems. Pastor Chad Wagner. An elder must be able to teach. It might seem wives cannot help their husbands in this regard. She must deal with many of the same hardships that the pastor deals with. Pastors tend to work flexible hours. Love the people, win them over, and create change slowly. Personal life .3 They may be criticized, ostracized, and patronized. ), 80% feel left out and unappreciated by church members, 56% say they have no close friends in the church, 84% feel unqualified and discouraged in their roles, 80% feel pressured to serve in ways that do not fit their gifts, 60% expressed the need to further their training so they could serve better, 80% wish their spouse would choose another profession, 40% of their husbands have had an extramarital affair while serving as a pastor, 50% of their marriages will end in divorce, 94% of clergy families feel the pressures of pastoral ministry, The majority of pastors wives said that the most destructive event that has occurred in their marriage and family was the day they entered the ministry. Not so! Some pastors' wives feel obligated to turn up at church every time the door is open. Great news -- we have the tools to help you do just that. People are creatures of habit. What causes a person devoted to God, diligent in ministry, and busy caring for God's children, to run dry? If you're in the midst of ministry hardships, ask God to provide a seasoned pastor's wife to come alongside you. Most pastors are pretty spoiled: I know I am. Second, it can be difficult to find someone to take care of the children while the pastor's wife is working. You spend hours planning events together. But we share one ministry in common, which is ministry to our husbandsto be his one wife with all the power of Christ who so mightily works in us. In other words, the pastor and his wife determine how active the pastor's wife should be. I hadn't called, but I'm sure I'd prayed for her. Please try again. I believe a woman can be called to be a wife, but not a pastor's wife, missionary's wife, etc. Many have shared vulnerably with certain women in their church and felt their trust was violated. An elder must be above reproach. How can you graciously support your husbands commitment to living a life of integrity? It reminded me of what I already know and seem to have lost track of. This can make for a stressful life for the pastors wife. Your email address will not be published. pastor. Paul tells the Philippian believers that his joy is complete when he sees them with the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind (Philippians 2:2, ESV). For the most part, the pastor serves as the spiritual leader and overseer of the church, spending countless If her husband gets a call from a church member, even though she perceives that something is wrong, she must mind her own business. During the first 100 years or so of the early church, there are letters written by Roman governors during times of plague talking about the behavior of this strange new group of people, Christians. A pastors wife feels like she has to share her husband with other people all the time. She prays for you without being asked. Probably people in the church expect her to serve in ways that she doesnt have time, desire, or gifting for. Bible Doctrine, Sermons, Bible Studies, Video Blogs, Blogs, Books, Study Tools, and More. (When the pastor is a woman the same could be said for the pastors husband, but this article focuses on the wives of male pastors.). Email 31 Pro Tips for Pastors' Wives When my husband and I got engaged, he was a youth minister. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. Our roof is less than habitable, and we live in a desert! A man who aspires to the office of elder aspires to a noble thing. Paul said, I rejoiced in the Lord greatly thatyou have revived your concern for me (Philippians 4:10a). Balance in the ministry is very important as well as setting priorities with yourself, your husband, family, and church. I personally disagree. small child. 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 for the Pastor's Wife. Get the free video series and start winning your inner battles today! Let us consider Gods goodness to you and His work through you. She is more precious than rubies. Your email address will not be published. March 7, 2023 by. Pray for wisdom, protecting It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace (Philippians 1:3-7). God has placed people on this earth that can help, if you will allow them to do so. Also, in 2016 I helped Bill to write a book that will help you with ministry stress. The subject of seasonal ministry was brought up around the lunch table where I sat with the other elders wives in our church. What about my own child with an upcoming medical procedure? Many of our pastors and spouses have chosen to be co-pastors in the church. Get your copy for today for FREE with a donation of any amount! Arguments Against a Pastor's Wife Working Outside the Home. Be careful in who you confide with! Additional gift options are available when buying one eBook at a time. The more I spend time with Him, the more I want to become like Him. of the pastor. Pastors' Wives Support - FOCUS Ministries, Inc. Focus on the Family has created a free five-part video course called "Cherish Your Spouse" featuring best-selling author Gary Thomas. Caroline Newheiser is the Assistant Coordinator of Womens Counseling at Reformed Theological Seminary-Charlotte. 4 Simple Things You Can Do to Encourage Your Pastor's Wife - Crosswalk The following things can be reasoned from the scriptures regarding a pastors wife. encouraging everyone to think on those things that are good! Even if she could trust a church member is it wise for her to share honestly with her? Whether you designate for both of you, being co-pastors, there is definitely strength in numbers.